Part of this project is getting out of my own mind and into the minds of those who think differently than me. I want to hear from regular people, not people who have any sort of special titles or hierarchical position. The first conversation I had was with The Philosopher, and it turned out to be a very informative and expansive conversation. Today, I bring you the words of The Prophet.
Like last time, I’m using general titles to keep all parties anonymous. I’ll be using a similar format, highlighting perspectives straight from the source and providing my own commentary afterward.
Let’s see what The Prophet had to say…
It’s interesting when you look at the beginning of the journey.. it’s only been 4 years.. but even so. There’s been so much change, so much growth..break through, healing, freedom from bondage.
It’s a lot like working out.. if you stick with it you’ll have amazing growth and see results.
This is why I know that I know He is real in every facet…
I couldn’t have made these changes on my own. If I tried to do this with my own strength and will power these changes wouldn’t have lasted long... I’m not particularly one for consistency when it comes to doing things that become exhausting. And much of what God asks you to do would be EXHAUSTING if you did it in your own works. That’s why He leaves us His own perfect peace. That’s why we are supposed to live everyday with Him. We were created for Intimacy and deep profound connection with our God and Father, our Bridegroom and Love.
I was messed up. I was so so angry. I had so much lust, and wanted desperately to be seen, validated, loved, desired and wanted. It was the foundation of who I was. I wanted to be wanted. And it was in everything I did.
God had to show me who He is, show me who I am IN HIM and fill me with His love. Show me I can trust him fully, that He’s good, faithful and that beyond all things He LOVES me and will work all things out for my good and that He has an amazing plan for my life.
Then He had to break me.
Kill me.
Bury me,
and then resurrect me.
But you can’t go through all of that without Him.
It’s quite the process. And it’s BRUTAL!
But wow…. Is it worth it. I mean it’s so worth it. To be who God says you are. Not to be who you think you are.
But I believe God had to get me there. He’s constantly had to bring me to the end of myself so He can show me His new beginning. He’s just waiting for me to tire myself out like a toddler throwing a fit, until they finally crash and just want their mommy’s and daddy’s. I believe we’re the exact same.
Even in my moments when I walked away from God (besides when I was 14), I’ve never stopped believing in God. My biggest issue was letting Go of myself so I could become everything He created me to be.
I had to want Him and His Will more than I wanted anything else. And that meant myself.
I had to Trust that God has a better plan for me than I do. And even when EVERYTHING SEEMED LIKE IT WAS FALLING APART and I literally felt like I was dying and I was living with constant anxiety… I had to Hold on to Him.
When Jesus’ disciples questioned Him in the middle of this monstrous storm, they asked, “Do you not care? Do you not love us?”
He went forth and rebuked the waves and the storm and silenced it.
Then He said to His disciples, “Oh you of little faith, do you still not believe?”
Before Jesus and His disciples even got in the boat to make the journey Jesus said, “Come, LET US CROSS OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE!”
That was a promise that no matter what, they would make it over to the other side!
But they didn’t have Faith in Him, all they could see was the storm around them and they thought they were abandoned.
We have to have FAITH in His promises! Not what we see! We can NOT live by sight alone!
Remember WHO HE IS.
He is faithful. HE LOVES YOU. My Goodness He loves you more than you can fathom. He will never leave you or forsake you. He will bring you over to the other side… But that doesn’t mean you won’t go through a hurricane.
We were meant to rise up to high places. But to get to those high places we must go through the wilderness and desert, we must journey through the valleys and come face to face with our Goliath.
But He isn’t asking us to do this on our own.
And when you decide to Go forth with Him… you will never regret it. Never. It will be the most beautiful amazing life changing love story you’ve ever been a part of. But it will also be the most heartbreakingly painful thing you’ve ever experienced.
You can’t have one without the other. We have to come to the end of ourselves. And when you have so much bondage it takes a long time to start healing it and breaking it off of you.
Did you know an olive has to be pressed 3 times before it becomes pure for olive oil? We too must be pressed to be purified.
I know that I can’t give you science and I can’t give you facts... all I can give you is my story and my Faith.
I just know… and I know that’s not an answer that can change other people’s lives… everyone has their own journey… and everyone has their own end… it depends on what it takes for them to get to the very end of themselves and be hungry for something that’s actually satisfying and doesn’t cling to their tongue like dust coating their mouths.
But I know who God is. I have an intimate and beautiful relationship with Him. He is my everything, and I would Die for what I believe. He has changed me and continues to change me in the most profound ways. I am nothing without Him… but I Am everything within Him.
Commentary:
The message from The Prophet is a powerful one. It’s also one that bring up many things for me…
For many years, I had harsh judgements for people who’s God was loud, ecstatic and fully personified. I thought that people who spoke like they “knew” Jesus were somehow intellectually inferior or fooling themselves. I thoughts people who could recite bible verses were condescending. To put it bluntly, I thought it was all *cringe*.
I realize now that was wrong.
What I’ve learned from The Prophet is that it is possible to put full reliance on faith. The Prophet didn’t have all the intellectual answers in our conversation, nor did they even care. It was clear that this person was set to die on the hill of faith and leave the unanswerable questions alone. For the first time in my life, I started to see that as perhaps the most honorable path of all.
That’s not to say there isn’t plenty of cringe in the Christian community - I’ve certainly seen my fair share. That doesn’t mean, however, that I should throw the baby out with the bathwater. I’ve come to realize that there’s still a battle going on inside me, one between the faith I had as a boy and the “knowledge” I gained as a man. I still find it hard to speak of God and Jesus on the way The Prophet does, and that’s no one’s problem but my own.
I’ve said that at the end of the day, it all comes down to action. I didn’t know The Prophet very well before I started this project, but guess who showed up for me as soon as I began (practically out of nowhere)? Guess who has been a source of encouragement and strength for me as I’ve continued? It’s through these actions that the words of The Prophet come to life and hold tremendous depth and meaning for me.
To be honest, the ability to speak and act in such congruency is perhaps exactly the thing I’m looking for…