I want to share something I found yesterday…
In the fourth grade, my English teacher had all of the kids write poems and short works to be entered into a regional poetry contest. The “winning” pieces would be judged (by whom, I cannot say) and compiled into a published book. As it turns out, I won, and my piece got published.
I present to you, “The Senses of Happiness”:
The Senses of Happiness
Happiness looks like my baby brother smiling at me from the side window when I come home from school.
It sounds like the beautiful sonata of a choir of dolphins deep below the surface of the ocean.
It smells like the aroma of an everlasting field of beautiful pink and red roses reaching toward the sun.
It feels like the soft, cuddly and warm fur of a teddy bear when the lights go out in the silent night.
It tastes like a yummy cup of hot cocoa when you come in the house after a huge snowball fight you had with your family and friends.
Denis O’Leary St. Agnes Cathedral School Rockville Centre Grade 4
This definitely sounds like it was written by a fourth grader, but I must say, it brings up a lot for me. I remember writing this. That’s significant because there’s so much about my childhood I can’t remember (was never quite able to figure out the reason for this with the ol’ therapist). For some reason I remember this - not only writing it but feeling it. It’s hard to describe how my mind is currently making that connection. The closest word I can come up with is “innocence”. I remember thinking through each and every one of those verses and feeling joy as I wrote them. I can’t think of anything in my adult life that’s sparked the depth of that emotion in me. I’m not talking about pleasure, I’m not talking about happiness - I’m talking about joy.
C.S. Lewis sums this up perfectly:
Joy bursts in our lives when we go about doing the good at hand and not trying to manipulate things and times to achieve joy.
When I wrote those verses, I wasn’t trying to achieve anything. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I wasn’t thinking about fixes, women, money or desires. I was in the moment, relating my experience exactly as I felt it. The world had not eaten me yet, and I was free. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever get anything like that back again. I guess only time will tell…
Whether I do or not doesn’t really matter. I’m forever grateful that at that time, in that moment, I had that freedom. There are many people who will go their entire lives without experiencing it - I count myself among the lucky ones. What I’m able to do now is remind myself that that state exists within me, and I have access to it (at least parts of it) when I want it. I think to some extent we all do, it’s just so damn easy to forget.
Think back on a similar time in your youth when you experienced that freedom. It may have only been for a moment.
What would that child think of you now?
What would they say to you?
What would they want for you?
These are questions only you can answer for yourself, but in my opinion, the answers are worth finding out.
“The world had not eaten me yet, and I was free” oof!