Up to this point, I’ve avoided some of the more polarizing topics, but tonight, I’m feeling frisky. I want to see if I can address what is so clearly a polarizing, touchy subject in a way that’s completely reasonable and pragmatic (I’ve recently been going down the rabbit hole of William James’ philosophy of pragmatism, and I’m experimenting). Let’s see what I come up with - wish me luck *gulp*.
The question: does the number of people you’ve slept with matter?
Camp #1: No, it doesn’t matter at all, as long as it’s safe and consensual. Humans are sexual beings and should be able to express that freely - men and women alike.
Camp #2: Yes, it matters, a lot. Chastity signals a high value system within a person, and that is a marker for successful relationships (this camp goes into sex differences, but I’ll leave those out - doesn’t change the result of the experiment).
I have seen so much vitriol online about this question, which is why this even came up as an idea in the first place. Are you ready for the answer…
Answer: Both!
Before you chalk this up to a cop-out, let me explain. You see, I’m not interested in the theory of the question, but only the results. And the results only show up in one place - with the partner in question. The answer is completely partner-dependent.
If you’re someone who believes that the answer is no, you’re going to have issues with someone who believes the answer is yes, and vice-versa. Someone who’s answer is yes probably aligns much better with someone else who’s answer is yes, and the same with those who answer no. This is extremely simple logic, but it really checks out, and if we all understood this, we’d avoid a lot of drama.
What I’m getting at here really is the age old judgement of “you shouldn’t think differently, you should think exactly like me, because I’m right and there’s no other way to view this.” We see this everywhere, from politics to relationships to the workplace. I think a lot of times what we forget is just how many people there are in this world. Think about it for a second…
Try to think of one thing. Okay, now think of ten things. Okay, now think of 100 things. Starting to get tricky, right. Even attempting to think about 1 million, or even 1 billion things is literally impossible. There are just so many people, and if you look at the world with abundance while letting everyone live out their own values and beliefs, you’ll find what you’re looking for. I guarantee it.
The goal of this was not to pass any judgement on any one thing, but to show you that we live in a world full of different humans with different brains, and the pieces will fit into place if we simply let them. I will cover my thoughts on objective values and morality some other time - that’s a bit trickier. For now, I want to leave you with the idea that maybe the world is bigger than you can possibly imagine, and contains thoughts you can’t possibly hold. On top of that, they’re okay.
The devils we see are the ones we create.
P.S. I’m starting two separate newsletters aside from Daily Reflections.
If you’re interested in health & fitness, I’ll be starting a newsletter called The Bronzeman, which will be released every Sunday. It will cover weightlifting, different styles of training, nutrition and everything in between.
If you’re interested in poetry, I’ve started a newsletter dedicated entirely to poetry called Poetry in the Dark. Starting next week, this will be released once a week on Wednesdays.