I’ve been spending too much time on my phone. In putting all the pieces together for Modern Bronze and what it’s becoming, I try to learn as much as I can from people in all sorts of disciplines. Most of the time, I need a phone to do that. The problem is, I get sucked into deep rabbit holes if I’m not careful. I’m sure every single one of you reading this can relate to that.
During one of these rabbit holes, I actually caught a glimpse of something. Then I started to see it everywhere. For any given topic or concept, there were multiple streams of content saying completely different things, to the point where nothing made sense. This is what I call information overload - it’s not necessary an issue of quantity (although that’s certainly an issue), it’s more an issue of too many different messages about the same topic that make it impossible to decipher the truth. Let me explain…
Relationships is a big, juicy topic that will help prove my point clearly. I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share of relationship advice on social media, from talking heads to bullet lists. IYKYK. Despite how much I curate my feed and avoid that type of content, it always seems to resurface, so I have no choice but to glean what I can out of it. It’s from this type of content that I clearly saw the pitfalls of what I like to call “You Should…” content. You know what I’m taking about - the “dating coach” who tells you what to do on the first date, the “game master” (so-fucking-cringe) who tells you how to pickup girls by manipulating them, the “marriage counselor” who tells you how to reignite the spark in your marriage. These types are a dime a dozen, but I’m not here to put anyone down. The real problem is that there are so many of them, and they’re all giving completely different advice on what to do in any given situation.
Dating is a good example of this. One person will tell you one thing, you’ll see a bullet list of the “5 Things Not To Do On The First Date” that completely contradicts what the first person said, and then you’ll see another person telling you something completely different than everything else. So, who’s right? I like to think I have pretty strong mental armor, but all of this information still messes with me, even with “minor” things like relationships and dating. If I’m exposing myself to information, my brain is processing it, no matter what I actually think about the information itself.
In terms of who’s right, I’ve found that the answer constantly changes to fit my mental narrative at any given time. If I want to hear something, I’m going to immediately deem it “right”. If I don’t want to acknowledge something uncomfortable, I’m going to immediately deem it “wrong”. The problem with that is, that’s not how truth works. It’s about facts, not feelings, so how in the hell do I find the facts?
I haven’t found a clear answer, but I did have a major revelation in regards to how manage it all. The problem at it’s core seems to be from being ungrounded. If I don’t have strong convictions about something, I’m going to be easily swayed by external information and prey to my emotional state. So, like so many things, it comes down to my personal value system and how much faith I have in it.
I don’t think I’m right about everything, but there’s a fine line between being open to course correction and being an amorphous blob of information consumption. I didn’t think this way always, but more and more I’m starting to think I’d rather die on the hill of my beliefs, even if I’m wrong. At least there’s honor in that. If I don’t draw my own lines in the sand, who’s going to draw them for me? Some shmuck on Instagram who happens to be telling me exactly what I want to hear on an idle Tuesday evening? That just doesn’t sit well with me.
It all comes down to conviction. In the age of information overload that’s a rare quality, but it’s necessary to defend against the cognitive dissonance that comes from so much contradicting input. One message I don’t see is that it’s okay to strongly believe in the things you believe in. Even if they’re “wrong” or “different”. That’s exactly what I’m telling you tonight. Stick to your guns, go with your gut, double down - be an asshole about it if you have to. Always leave room for growth, but, for lack of a better term, send itttttt. Most importantly, what you believe in does not have to be what I believe in. In fact, I hope it’s different - I hope it pushes my buttons, I hope it leads to conflict (non-physical, mature conflict). I’m not here to sell you anything. I’m here to encourage you to be exactly who you are.
That one’s up to you.
P.S. I’m starting two separate newsletters aside from Daily Reflections.
If you’re interested in health & fitness, I’ll be starting a newsletter called The Bronzeman, which will be released every Sunday. It will cover weightlifting, different styles of training, nutrition and everything in between.
If you’re interested in poetry, I’ve started a newsletter dedicated entirely to poetry called Poetry in the Dark. Starting next week, this will be released once a week on Wednesdays.