I Got A Dog
I got a dog. His name is Charlemagne (a.k.a Charlie).
I don’t usually make posts like this, but this is a beautiful gift and great news and I want to share that with you. No matter how uncomfortable I may feel in doing so. I always thought that people who show off their dogs were just looking for attention -and maybe I was right - but now I’ve become the very thing I judged. Seems to be a consistent theme in my life recently, in the best way possible.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence this dog has come into my life during this period. I was beginning to see that a very fundamental aspect of my life was selfish, not necessarily on purpose just as a result of how things ended up. I only had myself to look after and take care of, and out of that situation selfish pursuits just naturally arose.
All of that changed as soon as I picked up Charlie. In an instant, another life became dependent on my own. I don’t think the weight of that responsibility has hit me yet. What I do know is that my day to day has dramatically shifted, and there’s no going back. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I know it’s “just a dog,” but I anticipate that this dog is going to teach me many things, including compassion, selflessness and patience (he’s quite the nibbler). These are all qualities that are simply more difficult to embody while one is living for one’s own sake. In my journey towards Christianity I was looking for a psychic shift, and this little puppy will quite necessarily bring that. I can’t say it was anything I could have expected.
That’s all for now. Below are some more pictures. Welcome to the family Charlie!
Tears of Joy
On Friday night, I had an experience.
I was watching a documentary about C.S. Lewis while Charlie was sleeping on my lap. I thought about my life, the places I used to be and the place I am today. I thought about what my life would have looked like if I never picked up that first C.S. Lewis book years ago. I began to sob uncontrollably, in pure joy and gratitude. At that moment I wished that Lewis was still alive, simply for the opportunity to say thank you. I’ll never be able to repay the extraordinary and profound gift he inadvertently gave me.
The experience lasted all night, and I mean all night. Long periods of sobbing with some respite in between. I didn’t fall fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning. Throughout the night I saw extraordinary things - it was as if joy and hope and beauty all came alive and entered my heart. Chills ran down my spine, and at one point completely consumed my legs - I couldn’t even feel them. I looked at Charlie and thought about Christ, and for what felt like the first time in my life I knew that no matter what the future brings, I was going to be okay. Not only that, we are all going to be okay. We’re all going to die, of course, but we’re going to be okay. Where we’re headed, the true destination for all of us, is a beauty and a glory that we simply can’t comprehend.
Over the course of a few hours, I saw how beautiful and fun, for lack of a better word, this life on Earth can be. All will be okay in the end, and that makes the lives we currently have that much more enjoyable. I’ve taken things so seriously in my life, and all that was quite silly. It's a kind of paradox - when I started taking Christ and his teachings seriously, life itself became less serious. It’s all quite difficult to explain.
I’m sure it will take the days and weeks ahead for me to make sense of what really happened to me. I assume the experience is similar to what people describe as “being consumed” by the Holy Spirit. All I know that it was a beautiful. For the first time, it felt like I didn’t need anything else. I didn’t need love, sex, material possessions or more wealth. For a few hours I experienced perfect contentment. With that contentment came a bliss I’ve never felt before.
It was an experience I wish upon each and every one of you.