This past week I drove across the country. I had a partner, and we made it from New York to Arizona in 4 days. Okay, technically we didn’t drive to California, but we had a destination - haters be damned. The first leg of the drive was from New York to Oklahoma City, a multiple-day excursion that included on-and-off shifts of driving and sleeping in the passenger seat. From there, we drove to Albuquerque (I never thought I’d stay a night in Albuquerque in my life), and the final stretch brought us to our destination. It was a ton of driving, but it was the best trip of my life.
Most of the trip was great conversation and great podcasts (shoutout to “Bledsoe Said So”). There were no major stops, no destinations for entertainment. For all intents and purposes, it should have been a grueling experience, but it was quite the opposite. I was doing service for someone I love, and I got the opportunity to see parts of the country I’ve never seen. I’m sure the trip has changed my life in more ways than I can currently see.
Coming from the middle-class Northeast, the idea of “vacation” always denoted relaxation, seclusion and pleasure. The classic image of a sun-kissed tan laying beachside comes to mind. I’ve had wonderful times with family and friends on various vacations in my life, and I am extraordinarily blessed to have been given that. This experience, however, was different. Technically, it was marked on my personal calendar as “Time-Off,” but it wasn’t that for me. It had a clear purpose, and it was challenging (hats off to all the truckers out there, I don’t know how you do it). I found that this made all the difference. I usually come out of vacations feeling groggy and wishing I could stay in La-la land forever, but not this time. I came out of this weekend inspired and grateful for everything I have and the opportunities that lay before me.
Driving through the heart of the South showed me many things, most of which I was not prepared for. First and foremost, I saw first-hand how dire the hold Big Food has on this country. From Tennessee to Texas, we stopped innumerable times at various gas stations and roadside rest areas, and everything was the same. The food selection was filled the same brands, the same options, the same poison. Everything was filled with seed oils and MSG’s (you might not think that’s a big deal, but take my word for it, it’s really, really bad). Everything was greased, fried and processed. The only things I ate were were fruit bars and (occasionally) some nuts. The one saving grace was strategically-placed Chipotle stops, and even those could be sketchy. Needless to say, it was all very enlightening. On the road, it was impossible to eat right for any sustained period of time.
The food situation was horrible, but I’m not going to go down the Big Food rabbit hole. You can go back in my articles and find what I have to say about that. What struck me the most was the state of the people. A combination of extreme heat, expansive nothingness and a heavy distribution of hard drugs had clearly taken its toll. There were people of shapes, sizes and dispositions I had never seen before. It was bleak, but it opened something up inside me. There was no judgement, only love and understanding. Life down there is a completely different reality, filled with a harshness that most of us don’t have to face up here. Yet these people, our brethren, continue to live, work and create families through all the hardship. It’s commendable, to say the least.
A few things come to mind when I think about this. How many times have you seen a Trump supporter from the South completely de-humanized and called a monster? How many times have you seen meth addicts and criminals treated as the scum of the earth? Blame, shame and judgement all around. All of this while those of us more fortunate sit on our pharisaic thrones, walking on floors of bubble-wrap. I know what I saw, and I know that no matter what I do, I will never understand the struggle that so many of my countrymen have had to endure. I don’t know what I would have become if I was born into the same exact circumstances. Any bit of judgement left in my bones evaporated over the course of this trip.
What I’m trying to say is, enough is enough. We live in the most hyper-critical, hyper-judgmental times in known history, and we justify ourselves every step of the way. The truth is we have no fucking clue. The spectrum of experience, thought, and hardship across the human condition is broader than we can ever hope to comprehend. Cut people some slack, will ya? No matter what they believe or what they look like.
I want to make it clear that I write without any pity. That’s the funny thing - even though so many people looked forlorn and hardened, most of them seemed content. There was no bitterness, no putting on heirs, no bourgeois high-snobbery that’s become a cultural trademark of wealthy northern cities. The most beautiful things can be the ugliest, and the ugliest can be the most beautiful.
Makes you think, eh?
-D
Makes ya think, eh?! Funny.
Albuquerque eh?! Hahaha
Perspective is key right? I love your humanness here. I like to think when we share our perspective it gives a chance for it to be contagious. When an experience strikes me like yours here and I get that jittery feeling like I am supposed to share it -to me, it's seems like that Loving force wants to use me to offer an opportunity for others to soften a bit as well.
So glad you wrote it down.
Beautifully said Den!!!