We all want to be limitless. We want to do the impossible. We want to break the boundaries of the normal and charter unknown territories. While the desire to become more than we are is, in my opinion, the most divine aspiration, it comes with the price if overdone. I’ve learned this the hard way too many times - I’ve tried to speed up the process, to push myself too far, to do things I wasn’t at all comfortable with. Looking back, this brings up some thoughts…
The reasons why I’ve tried to push past my limitations weren’t ever positive. They were always based out of fear, resentment, self-loathing or simply being uncomfortable in my own skin. Pushing myself farther than I was comfortable going was a way to escape myself, to numb, to put myself in danger as a way to feel something. In the long run, it never worked out the way I hoped.
See, limitations and boundaries are the same. A healthy human being has strong boundaries and thereby a strong sense of limitation. In the words of Meatloaf, “I won’t do that.” The older I get, the more I realize how attractive and powerful strong boundaries are. Of the small amount of things we have control over in this life, boundaries may be some of the most important. They prevent us from harming ourselves, and they prevent other people from taking advantage of us and using us for their own means. Boundaries, and limitations, are our real-life superpowers.
Now I’m not saying we shouldn’t push ourselves. We most certainly should push ourselves every day as we strive to become better versions of ourselves. There is a point, however, when it becomes self-destructive. True mastery is the art of knowing this balance within oneself, knowing when to push and knowing when to retreat. This is the Art of Living.
I’ll leave you with an example. I’m 5’8” and my optimal body weight sits between 170-175 lb. I’ve been born with inherent limitations that are beyond anything I can control. I will never be able to lift as much as a 6’4”, 250 lb. man, and if I tried, I’d destroy myself. I’d either eat my way into sickness, or attempt to life an amount of weight that could seriously fuck me up. Instead of trying to be the strongest man in the world, I can shift my goal to being the strongest 170 lb. man in the world. Not saying I’ll ever get there, but that mind shift changes everything. I don’t get jealous or depressed when I see guys lifting hundreds of pounds more than me on Instagram. They live by their own limitations, and I live by mine.
The greatest Olympic lifter (arguably) of all time was Naim Süleymanoğlu. His nickname was “Pocket Hercules” - he stood at 4’10” and weighed 137 lb. There have been countless lifters who have lifted more than he did, but the fact that he was able to do what he did within his limitations was his magic. Life is not a game of quantity, but quality. There’s something profound about a man with complete mastery over his kingdom, which is the sum total of everything life has given him.
Mastery of limitations is the secret to a fulfilling life. It is an art that must be practiced every day, a muscle that must be strengthened. I encourage you to embark on the journey of identifying your limitations and using them powerfully.
It’s a journey that will never end.