Where's the soul I want to know
New York City is evil
The surface is everything, but I could never do that
Someone would see through that
-Third Eye Blind, "Motorcycle Drive By"
I’ve lived in New York my whole life. Not the city, but pretty much every neighboring borough (sans Staten Island). As a homegrown New Yorker, I’ve grown accustomed to navigating the culture and all of its pros and cons. I understand its ethos and its beautiful history. That said, I also understand its darkness and its pain. For that reason, I tend to stay away. I navigate the outskirts, taking what I need and leaving the rest. I’m lucky in this way because New York has always been my backyard, and I’ve learned how to live with it. There are others who are not so fortunate.
New York will eat you alive if you let it. It has a way of warping the mind to fit its agenda, making you believe all of your desires are exactly what you need. It’s “The City That Never Sleeps” for a reason. Like my mom always used to tell me, nothing good happens past midnight. As per usual, she was right. New York is the city of indulgence, the city of cheap sex, the city of drugs and the city of death.
For the naïve, this is a recipe for disaster. As the old saying goes, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” I’ve seen some very kind people do some very fucked up things, engulfed in some distorted comfort that decries, “Everybody’s doing it.” Everybody’s not doing it - the city just makes it easy to think that way. See, New York makes its own rules. It has its own values and creates its own boundaries. It’s a living being, and it shows no mercy. It makes monsters.
Let me be clear, I am grateful for New York and everything it has given me. There are many things I love about it, and I’m lucky to have been born in the place where people dream to be. That said, without darkness there can be no light. Underneath its shiny veneer are undercurrents of pain, corruption, deceit, manipulation and abuse. It’s almost impossible to see these currents while we’re swimming in them, but they are always present, operating at an almost subconscious, cultural level.
The takeaway from all of this is a reminder to stick your values, whatever you decide they might be. Don’t let other people or outside pressures determine what you will or will not do. I know you’re probably saying, “Duh,” but you’d be surprised at how powerful cultural and community influences can be. Take minute to look at your own life and ask yourself if the people and places you surrounded yourself with are informing your views and values. I’d be willing to bet their influence is stronger than you think.